Growing up

Adelyn is 7 1/2 months old! She crawls. She pulls to stand. She says "dadadada" all day long. She gets SO excited when she is standing and she tries to jump while making this noise of utter joy and satisfaction. She is so proud and pleased with herself. How nice to be able to be proud of yourself for such a simple thing.
She is growing up so fast! She seems more like the one year olds running around now than the three month olds I see in their carriers. It used to be I couldn't see a toddler in my baby, it seemed like there was so far to go before we would be there. It wasn't so far after all.
I was waiting to get my hair cut today and reading a magazine to pass the time. One of the stories I read was about a woman who was obsessing about the small things (germs, falls, etc.) that she wasn't taking the time to enjoy her baby. Her mom told her she had to quit it because "they grow up so fast it will break your heart."
I have been trying to think of a way to describe how I feel about how fast Adelyn seems to be growing up. It is bittersweet. It's like saying goodbye to a good friend who you may not see again....it breaks my heart.
When I read that quote in the magazine, I almost started crying right there in the hair salon. I almost cried again when I sat down to write this. I love my baby. I love watching her learn the world and how she works in it. But now when I look at her, I think, "where did my newborn go? Where is that sweet little bundle that would fall asleep on my shoulder or just let me hold her for awhile?" I miss that baby and it hurts so much to know that that part of being with her is just over.

I know every parent goes through this because everyone tells you it flies by. I'm trying to enjoy the moments I have now because I know those are going to be just a fleeting and in another few months, I'll be wondering what happened to this version of my baby girl. Still I wanted to take a moment to just reflect and sit with my sorrow for a minute while I reminisce.