Adelyn's Big Fall

So I know every parent has that story about that time their baby rolled off the bed, changing table, you name it. Well, that happened to us this week. I wish I could say it was a simple as, Adelyn fell of the bed, scared us a lot, and we'll be more careful next time. Of course all of that is true, but unfortunately, the space heater was turned on right next to the bed, and when she fell, her hand landed between the coils on the space heater. It was only there for maybe 5 seconds, but I guess that with her very tender baby skin, that was long enough. She has second degree burns on all of her finger pads and her wrist and a third degree burn about the size of a silver dollar on the back of her hand. There's also a burn that goes down her thumb and I can't tell if they are going to decide that's a second or third degree burn at this point.
I feel awful. Every time we have to change her bandages I look at that little hand and I just can't believe we let that happen. We spent Wednesday morning in the emergency room getting it looked at. I guess the ER attending was thrown off by burns on both side of her hand because he hadn't seen our space heater and I was too shaken to describe it. It's shaped like a radiator, so her hand must have gotten between two of the heating elements, explaining burns on both sides of her hand. Since it's so unique, we were referred to CPS.
I spent Wednesday afternoon on the phone with CPS and driving to their office to talk about what had happened. Since the ER doctor had said that he could not confirm that her injuries were consistent with our story, we had to get a second opinion with the child abuse specialists at Children's. Of course I didn't learn this until 4pm on Wednesday. At the time I was told that we were going to have to go to the REACH clinic, I was also told that we weren't going to be allowed unsupervised time with our daughter until that clinic said they could rule out abuse as the cause of her burns. Luckily Dr. Waber, one of the doctors I work with closely was able to pull some strings for me and get us in Thursday morning at 11am. Until then though, Adelyn was going to have to stay at Jordan's mom's house. We had a sleep-over at Jordan's parents house on Wednesday night and got the all clear from the REACH clinic Thursday morning. And our last visit with CPS (hopefully) Friday morning when they came for a home visit.
Thank goodness for family and friends supporting us through all of this. I feel blessed that no one has said one unkind word through this whole thing. I'm not sure I would have been able to take it. People at work were so understanding as well, stepping in to see my patients because I just couldn't get my act together and focus enough to trust myself to see anyone. And of course Jordan's mom was so nice to let us stay at her house when we weren't allowed to take our baby home :(
We have an appointment with the Parkland burn clinic coming up on Monday. I'm hopeful that they will tell me it's not as bad as I think, but I'm really worried they will confirm my every fear. I can't believe a minute of my carelessness might lead to a scar Adelyn will have for the rest of her life. It seems like this can't possibly be my life. It has to be one of those things you hear about that happened to your sisters friend or something.
One positive thing from all of this, Adelyn is on Tylenol with codeine. She has never slept so well! She's taking her naps without waking up, and she isn't stirring in the middle of the night either. It doesn't seem to affect her much in the middle of the day though, which is something I was worried about. She seems just like her normal self, if a little frustrated about not being able to use her hand.

We are glad to be finished with CPS and able to focus on taking care of our baby again. We have learned that she's more mobile than we realized and we will be much more careful from here on out. I know other accidents are going to happen, but I can't give myself permission yet not to swear that none of those accidents are going to be my fault. It makes me worried that the next accident is going to make me feel even worse as a parent. Once is an accident, twice must just be carelessness. Hopefully I get to a more forgiving place once this has healed a bit. This parenting thing is HARD!