Clap Your Hands

The most amazing thing!!! Adelyn claps her hands on command. I know I must have taught her things before now, things that she just picks up from being around me. This is the first thing I feel like I actively taught her. The first thing that I thought, "I bet she could learn to clap her hands", and then she did learn it. I know it's not a big thing, probably not even really that impressive, but somehow I am astonished by it. I'm amazed that she understands the words, that she can make the movements to actually clap her hands, and then that 2/3 of the time, she actually wants to do it when you ask her to. It's amazing and pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen!
It seems like Adelyn is pretty amazed by her new ability as well. She claps a lot even when she isn't asked to. She always watches the people around her when she's doing it, and I think she realizes that she has discovered this universal form of communication. Everyone knows about "clap your hands"! All the strangers at the grocery store, all the moms and older kids at play group, and all the people that go to baby bounce at Northpark. I can only imagine what's going on in her mind, but I think she is SO happy to have a way to make everyone clap their hands back at her. Because of course that's the first thing that happens. If a baby claps their hands at you at the grocery store, of course you clap back!
We recently started working in "touch your head". Once she had "clap your hands" down, I wanted to add to her list of tricks, and she already seems somewhat fascinated by being able to touch the top of her head...so I started telling her that she was touching her head when she chose to touch it. Then I would ask her to touch her head and take her hand and pat her head with it. She isn't as consistent with this one, but in the last two days, she touches her head probably half of the time that I ask her to. Now we're working on "wave goodbye". Then, I think we'll do "point your finger". I think she's going to be disappointed that some of these things aren't quite as universally used to communicate, but I'm pretty sure she'll still get grins of approval from random strangers when she touches her head on command.

I'll post video when we get it...of course whenever we put the camera in front of her face all thoughts of clapping evaporate!

Growing up

Adelyn is 7 1/2 months old! She crawls. She pulls to stand. She says "dadadada" all day long. She gets SO excited when she is standing and she tries to jump while making this noise of utter joy and satisfaction. She is so proud and pleased with herself. How nice to be able to be proud of yourself for such a simple thing.
She is growing up so fast! She seems more like the one year olds running around now than the three month olds I see in their carriers. It used to be I couldn't see a toddler in my baby, it seemed like there was so far to go before we would be there. It wasn't so far after all.
I was waiting to get my hair cut today and reading a magazine to pass the time. One of the stories I read was about a woman who was obsessing about the small things (germs, falls, etc.) that she wasn't taking the time to enjoy her baby. Her mom told her she had to quit it because "they grow up so fast it will break your heart."
I have been trying to think of a way to describe how I feel about how fast Adelyn seems to be growing up. It is bittersweet. It's like saying goodbye to a good friend who you may not see again....it breaks my heart.
When I read that quote in the magazine, I almost started crying right there in the hair salon. I almost cried again when I sat down to write this. I love my baby. I love watching her learn the world and how she works in it. But now when I look at her, I think, "where did my newborn go? Where is that sweet little bundle that would fall asleep on my shoulder or just let me hold her for awhile?" I miss that baby and it hurts so much to know that that part of being with her is just over.

I know every parent goes through this because everyone tells you it flies by. I'm trying to enjoy the moments I have now because I know those are going to be just a fleeting and in another few months, I'll be wondering what happened to this version of my baby girl. Still I wanted to take a moment to just reflect and sit with my sorrow for a minute while I reminisce.

Adelyn's Big Fall

So I know every parent has that story about that time their baby rolled off the bed, changing table, you name it. Well, that happened to us this week. I wish I could say it was a simple as, Adelyn fell of the bed, scared us a lot, and we'll be more careful next time. Of course all of that is true, but unfortunately, the space heater was turned on right next to the bed, and when she fell, her hand landed between the coils on the space heater. It was only there for maybe 5 seconds, but I guess that with her very tender baby skin, that was long enough. She has second degree burns on all of her finger pads and her wrist and a third degree burn about the size of a silver dollar on the back of her hand. There's also a burn that goes down her thumb and I can't tell if they are going to decide that's a second or third degree burn at this point.
I feel awful. Every time we have to change her bandages I look at that little hand and I just can't believe we let that happen. We spent Wednesday morning in the emergency room getting it looked at. I guess the ER attending was thrown off by burns on both side of her hand because he hadn't seen our space heater and I was too shaken to describe it. It's shaped like a radiator, so her hand must have gotten between two of the heating elements, explaining burns on both sides of her hand. Since it's so unique, we were referred to CPS.
I spent Wednesday afternoon on the phone with CPS and driving to their office to talk about what had happened. Since the ER doctor had said that he could not confirm that her injuries were consistent with our story, we had to get a second opinion with the child abuse specialists at Children's. Of course I didn't learn this until 4pm on Wednesday. At the time I was told that we were going to have to go to the REACH clinic, I was also told that we weren't going to be allowed unsupervised time with our daughter until that clinic said they could rule out abuse as the cause of her burns. Luckily Dr. Waber, one of the doctors I work with closely was able to pull some strings for me and get us in Thursday morning at 11am. Until then though, Adelyn was going to have to stay at Jordan's mom's house. We had a sleep-over at Jordan's parents house on Wednesday night and got the all clear from the REACH clinic Thursday morning. And our last visit with CPS (hopefully) Friday morning when they came for a home visit.
Thank goodness for family and friends supporting us through all of this. I feel blessed that no one has said one unkind word through this whole thing. I'm not sure I would have been able to take it. People at work were so understanding as well, stepping in to see my patients because I just couldn't get my act together and focus enough to trust myself to see anyone. And of course Jordan's mom was so nice to let us stay at her house when we weren't allowed to take our baby home :(
We have an appointment with the Parkland burn clinic coming up on Monday. I'm hopeful that they will tell me it's not as bad as I think, but I'm really worried they will confirm my every fear. I can't believe a minute of my carelessness might lead to a scar Adelyn will have for the rest of her life. It seems like this can't possibly be my life. It has to be one of those things you hear about that happened to your sisters friend or something.
One positive thing from all of this, Adelyn is on Tylenol with codeine. She has never slept so well! She's taking her naps without waking up, and she isn't stirring in the middle of the night either. It doesn't seem to affect her much in the middle of the day though, which is something I was worried about. She seems just like her normal self, if a little frustrated about not being able to use her hand.

We are glad to be finished with CPS and able to focus on taking care of our baby again. We have learned that she's more mobile than we realized and we will be much more careful from here on out. I know other accidents are going to happen, but I can't give myself permission yet not to swear that none of those accidents are going to be my fault. It makes me worried that the next accident is going to make me feel even worse as a parent. Once is an accident, twice must just be carelessness. Hopefully I get to a more forgiving place once this has healed a bit. This parenting thing is HARD!