While we were there, these lovely people presented me with a baby gift...a book. "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau. Steve told me this book had "changed his life" after their first child.
I really like to read in the mornings while I eat breakfast, so when we got back from Austin, I pulled the book out one morning to read a few pages while I ate. I couldn't put it down! This is difficult when you have a two month old. Luckily the first thing I gleaned from the book was the novel concept of putting your baby in the crib for nap time. I'm not sure how we got started down this path, but somehow since bringing Adelyn home from the hospital, she was in someone's arms at every minute. I don't know why (probably sleep deprivation and a little residual pregnancy brain) but this persisted even when Jordan was back at work and I was home alone. No wonder I was frustrated and exhausted with my maternity leave. I was holding Adelyn all day, and I'm not kidding, it never occurred to me to put her down in her bassinet to sleep until I read this book. I dunno either, I thought I was a pretty smart girl...
Well, after the life changing idea of putting your baby in their bed to sleep, I had much more time to finish reading the book that first day. I spent every minute that Adelyn was sleeping reading the book. We then started her "schedule" the next day.
It's not really a schedule...more of a routine. The benefit is that I know what I should be doing with her during the day. Apparently she is also learning what to expect, but the jury's still out on whether or not this is true.
The schedule
7am- wake up, first feeding
play time and diaper change after the feeding (this usually goes until 9:30, but can end earlier if she's cranky)
nap time until 10am feeding
10am- second feeding
play time and diaper change after the feedingnap (she usually is napping by 11)
1pm- third feeding
play time and diaper change
nap
4pm- fourth feeding
play time and diaper change
nap
6pm- first cluster feed (only 2 hours b/w the previous feed and this one)
diaper change and get ready for bed
8pm- second cluster feedone last diaper change and put her down to sleep
10 or 11pm- dream feed (this is a feeding where you very quietly take the baby out of their bed and try to sneak in a feeding while they are asleep. Amazingly, Adelyn will take an entire feeding while staying asleep!!!)
cross your fingers and hope she sleeps all night.
What I've learned
We were doing something like this before I read the book, but it really solidified in my mind that there should be sleeping time after every meal. That has helped me pay attention while we are in the awake/playful time to Adelyn's mood. When she starts to get fussy an hour into play time, it is now clear to me that she is ready to sleep. Before I was mostly baffled and frustrated.
The other suggestion that has been helpful from the book is not to change the baby's diaper in the middle of the night. We were getting up to change her whenever she woke up to feed. This made our middle of the night wakings longer and it woke her up enough that it was a little difficult to get her back to sleep.Also, it helped be realize that even babies need a bed time. We were keeping Adelyn out in the living room with us until we were ready for bed around 10 or 11. I knew this wasn't what we would be doing say when she was a year old, but I didn't know when that switch was supposed to happen. The answer is now...really we should have been doing it all along.
Jordan has started calling this book the Bible. More because I am frequently found saying "the book says..." He hasn't read it, and so is really just taking my work for what it says we should be doing.
How it's working
Adelyn has been a much happier baby since we started this. But that might be the reflux medicine we started her on around the same time :) I'm a much happier mommy since we started this, which is more important I think. I have a rough idea of how my day is going to be, with the exception of what kind of mood Adelyn is going to be in. I feel like the fussy times, while still existent, are much more limited. Maybe because I know much more clearly what Adelyn needs. That right there makes me feel like a better mom. I have found myself in the last few days saying to people who are holding her "she needs...", "you might try..." and it almost always works. Hey, I'm getting good at this. Good thing...I really hate doing things that I'm not good at!
The first sign that the schedule is actually making a difference for Adelyn came last night. She woke up at 1am, which is really too early for a feeding, since we had fed her around 11. I gave her the pacifier, and she went back to sleep. Next thing I heard from her wasn't until 6:15 this morning! Even then, she wasn't really fussy, more like she heard Jordan's alarm go off and started to wake up. I was so astonished with how long it had been that I went ahead and fed her, even though she might have gone all the way to 7am without needing it. Jordan says not to get excited yet. Too late! It has me wondering if she really needs that middle of the night feeding anymore. I think tonight I'm going to try just giving her the pacifier and see what happens. This could mean we're in for a half hour of misery before I decide she really is insisting on being fed, but we'll see. It's exciting nonetheless.
And because no blog is complete without a picture...
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