I was at a genetic counseling conference in Atlanta when I was late.
The funny thing about not being on birth control, is that you can't count on everything to work like a clock. I was still getting used to that. There had been many "false alarms" when I was a day or two late and had been CONVINCED that I was pregnant. We went through a lot of pregnancy tests those first few months!
Because I was in Atlanta, without dear Jordan, I was forbidden from buying a pregnancy test to see if my suspicions were correct. For the 4 days of the conference I was in agony wondering "am I?" "no, can't be!" At least I know Jordan was suffering similarly. He went to a weekend camping trip with some friends and I forbade him from mentioning my suspicions. As I said it, "no one wants to know that my period is late!"
I got home from Atlanta on a Sunday. Jordan picked me up at the airport, and we raced home so I could pee on that stick! I was four or five days late by then, so I was pretty much convinced. Jordan was trying not to get his hopes up.
It's amazing how you can go from hoping to start a family one day, to expecting your first child, all in the span of a minute! More amazing is how nothing really changes. One minute, you thought you were pregnant, and the next, you knew it. But I felt completely the same. It seems like knowing you're pregnant all of a sudden should awaken some "maternal" feeling. Absolutely nothing was different about how I felt. I was excited, but when something so big happens so fast, and you feel completely the same, it's hard to believe anything is really different.
Jordan didn't believe it I think for days. In the first few minutes he was completely shocked. He really wanted me to take another test. We didn't have another test, so I just kept telling him "you don't get false positives on these things!" He came around eventually.
And then, the most agonizing part...keeping it a secret!!!
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