Pregnant in New York

You might think this is mostly an excuse to talk about being in New York, but while I am going to use it as an opportunity to show some pics from the trip, we really couldn't think of much other than the pregnancy while we were there.

We went to New York with Jordan's family and Mickey to see Michael and Carrie. Mickey, Jordan and I stayed with Michael and Carrie in their apartment on Staten Island. We were super excited to see them and to have time to hang out with them!

We had decided not to get any family members excited yet, so we had no plans to discuss the pregnancy while we were in New York. Keeping a secret is really hard though, so in the end, we only managed to keep our lips sealed until Jordan's family left.

We did a lot of fun stuff in New York, even if I couldn't stop thinking about the pregnancy for most of it (in my defense, it's really hard to stop thinking about it when you feel sick all the time!). We went to the MOMA and the Thanksgiving day parade and we saw some shows. The most fun was Thanksgiving day with everyone at Michael and Carrie's apartment. The food was delicious and the company was great.

My morning sickness really got going around the time we arrived in New York. I had heard traveling made it worse, but it turned out that was just the way morning sickness was. It didn't get any better once we got home :( Being nauseated during our trip was no fun! Riding the ferry to and from Manhattan every day was terrible! Thank goodness I never threw up, that would have "spilt the beans", so to speak, to Jordan's parents. I learned that frequent snacking is key, and would have Jordan get the Frosted Cheerios out of Michael and Carrie's pantry every morning for me to snack on before getting out of bed.

When Jordan's family left to go back to Dallas, we decided it was safe to tell Michael, Carrie, and Mickey the big news. We hadn't really planned on this, so there was no cute method that we came up with to tell them. We had the picture of the pregnancy test on our camera, so we ended up showing them that. It was easier than saying it, I guess. They were appropriately excited, and then I didn't have to keep my nausea secret anymore!

Michael, Carrie, and Mickey kept the secret beautifully until we were ready to tell everyone. Michael and Carrie were the first to buy our baby a gift (some darling receiving blankets), which they left for us when they stayed at our house over x-mas.

Keeping the Secret

Why do people keep such exciting news secret?

I know why we did. Unfortunately I know all too well all of the things that can go wrong, especially in the beginning of a pregnancy. We didn't want to get everyone excited and then have to tell them something had gone wrong. More truthfully, we didn't want to get ourselves all excited and then if something did go wrong, have to share that with everyone too. So, we decided to keep it a secret.

Easier said than done!

I think we knew three days before we mutually decided that we had to tell someone! We agreed that we could both pick one person to share the news with. That way, if something did go wrong, we would only have to both break it to one person.

I was on my gmail and saw my good friend Audrey online. Audrey lived in Austin, 4 hours from Dallas, and while I am quite fond of her, we do not see each other much. I decided this was perfect! If something happened, I could tell her via chat or phone and I wouldn't have to see her in person soon afterward.

11:29 AM me: Thought you would like to know (but it's super secret insider info only)

On Sunday I found out I am pregnant

Audrey: intriguing!

AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: !!!

Audrey: OH MY GOODNESS!!!!

me: :-D

Audrey: I am so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: Thanks

Audrey: DONNICE!

me: it is kind of surreal

Audrey: BABY!

11:30 AM me: I know

it is the size of between a lentil and a kernel of corn right now!

Audrey: awwww

me: and it mostly looks like an alien

Audrey: a little lentil in your belly!

me: LOL

Audrey: you got to see the pictures already?

me: no, just googling from how far along I am

11:31 AM in general, they look like aliens

I just started week 6 today

Audrey: haha

week 6!

what a great week!

Jordan's perspective:

I did not really understand why it was so important to keep our news secret. Donnice may have had an increased perception of our risk because of her job, but I'm the type of person who never really believes anything could go wrong. I was camping with my friend Richard when we first started to suspect, and I was dying to tell him before we'd even confirmed it.

Since I could only tell one person, though, I decided to share our news with my friend and coworker, Nina. She had become a mother during the time that I knew her, and she told me all the time how much I would love being a dad. If I only got to tell one person, I wanted to make sure it was someone who would be very happy for me. And, since I knew her from work, she didn't really have much connection to the other circles of friends for whom it was still a secret. Nina was very excited for us both, and less than two months after I shared my news with her, she had her own news to share with me: her second is now on the way!

Finding Out

And then...we were pregnant!

I was at a genetic counseling conference in Atlanta when I was late.
The funny thing about not being on birth control, is that you can't count on everything to work like a clock. I was still getting used to that. There had been many "false alarms" when I was a day or two late and had been CONVINCED that I was pregnant. We went through a lot of pregnancy tests those first few months!
Because I was in Atlanta, without dear Jordan, I was forbidden from buying a pregnancy test to see if my suspicions were correct. For the 4 days of the conference I was in agony wondering "am I?" "no, can't be!" At least I know Jordan was suffering similarly. He went to a weekend camping trip with some friends and I forbade him from mentioning my suspicions. As I said it, "no one wants to know that my period is late!"
I got home from Atlanta on a Sunday. Jordan picked me up at the airport, and we raced home so I could pee on that stick! I was four or five days late by then, so I was pretty much convinced. Jordan was trying not to get his hopes up.
It's amazing how you can go from hoping to start a family one day, to expecting your first child, all in the span of a minute! More amazing is how nothing really changes. One minute, you thought you were pregnant, and the next, you knew it. But I felt completely the same. It seems like knowing you're pregnant all of a sudden should awaken some "maternal" feeling. Absolutely nothing was different about how I felt. I was excited, but when something so big happens so fast, and you feel completely the same, it's hard to believe anything is really different.
Jordan didn't believe it I think for days. In the first few minutes he was completely shocked. He really wanted me to take another test. We didn't have another test, so I just kept telling him "you don't get false positives on these things!" He came around eventually.
And then, the most agonizing part...keeping it a secret!!!