Adelyn's First Halloween

We thought and thought about what Adelyn was going to be for Halloween. For weeks we looked at costumes trying to decide. Finally, I was looking at pictures and someone had posted pics of their baby in a pumpkin costume (not an original idea, I had seen it 100 times) in a pumpkin patch (very cute and genius). I already wanted to take Adelyn to the arboretum while the pumpkins were there and after seeing that pic, I knew I had to have one of my own...and that's how Adelyn became a pumpkin for her first Halloween.

Jordan was not excited about this choice of costume. It is not very original (agreed), it is pretty cliche (agreed), and we had been hoping to do something more...special. I told him maybe next year she can be a baby zombie or something not quite so cute.

We had a great day at the arboretum and got some beautiful pictures thanks to Jordan's mom. She calls herself an amateur, but seriously these are professional quality! I keep telling her she should start charging! Check out her website, debrakphotography.com

 My sister, Alissa was home from out of town and came to help us with the pics. Here's Adelyn catching some zzz's while Alissa gives my arms a break!

 This picture is not posed, I swear! Adelyn was cranky and we were trying to get some good shots of the two of us. We had just gotten her to stop crying, Debbie stepped back to pick up the camera, and my sister said, "oh wait, look, we have to move her hand." Better idea, lets capture that moment!







We were taking a stroll while Adelyn napped, and came by this enormous bowl of tiny pumpkins. I turned all of the ones in the middle upside down so there wouldn't be any stems poking her in the back, and we got this great shot!

 She looks so tiny here!

Back to work

So I’m a working mom...and I feel very conflicted about it. I hear that’s normal. I really do love my job. I love that I get to help people and be with them during an important and difficult time in their lives. I love that I know all the ins and outs of the system where I work and how I can make maneuvering through that system easier for families. I love the people that I work with. I love most of all that I feel confident and effective in what I’m doing every day. Somehow that feeling is where things seem the be waning the most as a working mom. I feel less confident and less effective. I think it’s the pumping.
I’ve been back at work for one week. I HATE PUMPING!!! I hate that I have to sit at my desk, or in a room somewhere for 30 minutes without being able to get up. I hate that I have to wash the stupid pumping apparatus every time I pump. I have to do this whole thing 3 times during each work day! I spend an hour and a half every day pumping!! At least I’ve figured out how to do it hands-free, so now I can type or chart review while I pump. That makes me at least a little more effective at my job. Still, it is hindering my performance. For example, today I planned to see a patient scheduled at 9am so I could pump at 10. By 10, the patient hadn’t showed up, so I started pumping. No kidding, I had barely started when I got a call from one of the other genetic counselors saying the patient was there. Nothing I could do at that point. I had to pump or I wouldn’t have gotten to it until after seeing the patient, which would probably take an hour. I couldn’t really make the patient wait 30 minutes while I finished pumping, so my colleague graciously stepped in to see the patient...so I could pump!!!
I also feel less effective because I don’t have as much work to do yet. The way things work in our department, you see a patient, and then you are responsible for the follow up care. Each patient requires an average of 30 minutes of follow up care. I am seeing patients, but it takes weeks to get results back sometimes, so I am still waiting to do the follow up piece. It means I don’t have much to do at this point, so I feel pretty useless a lot of the time. I know this will pass, but for now, it feels like such a waste to be at work pumping and not having much to do while my mother-in-law watches my baby.
All of this to say it’s not as much fun to be back at work as I thought it would be, which only makes me want to be with my baby more.
There is something surprising about being a working mom though. It’s changed how I experience my patients. I feel like I understand more about the relationship these moms have with their children. Like I can better imagine what it would be like, how devastating and truly worrying it might be to be sitting across from me. I think it makes me a better genetic counselor. I do keep reminding myself though, that I thought I was pretty empathetic and understanding before I had a baby. I may understand better now, but no one can truly understand what another person is going through. Because I’m so surprised by how much more I feel like I understand now that I’m a mom too, I am even more wary to assume that I understand much of what mom’s in my clinic are going through. Becoming a mom changed my perspective so much, it would be ridiculous for me to think that it wouldn’t change just as much or more if I actually was experiencing what my patients are experiencing. I guess that realization makes me a better genetic counselor too though. 

Because every post should have a picture...